Here is October – all the leaves are brown …

 I have started to feel quite phobic about the monthly newsletter. My reticence to put fingers to keypad has manifested in all kinds of avoidance behavior. I am still not sure exactly what’s behind it, because I love writing. I think it may have something to do with a gradual leaking of self-consciousness into the process. Fatal for a writer, it always heralds the start of writers block…

So in an effort to treat myself before the full effect sinks in, I decided to try a few behavioral techniques: namely, to move my laptop from the office to the kitchen table and to have re-runs of Cagney and Lacey purring and flickering gently in the background. I have also promised myself a café latte when I finish the first draft. This usually works for me.

I have been on three weeks sabbatical. That probably has a lot to do with it. I have been chopping down trees, trimming back braches, pruning rose beds, collecting chestnuts and making bonfires – and cooking. I have had no access to TV, film or newspaper and only spoken to the occasional French workman, mostly about chauffage, menuiserie artisane, and the differing qualities of French and English paint.

Music has been allowed. Mostly nu-jazz but particularly Ella Fitzgerald’s “Gold” Collection – a work of genius, really uplifting and inspiring. What a great musician. What a fantastic, clever, witty woman.

Books have also been on the agenda. These included a mystery thriller, a self-development book (couldn’t do more than a chapter), a Buddhist magazine, and “Dead Air” by Iain Banks. A glass of local wine in the evening in front of a wood fire has made the days complete.

Immediately on my return I finished the Bank’s book. It’s a post 9/11 thrash in which he creates a scenario that allows him to lunge firsthand into a frantic diatribe commenting on the current world of media and imperialist globalism. Come to think of it, this book was also a contributory factor in my newsletter reticence.

My perception seems to have changed somewhat during my break. It’s odd to plunge back into the day-to-day reality we all share. These are some of the things that hit me in the first 24 hours.

• I learned that Liza’s marriage was not at all what it was cracked up to be: that David is accusing her of beating him up in drunken rages. No amount of money or stardom protects you from marital discord. I wondered if she had hit him over the head with the congratulatory framed photo present I sent them during their stay at the Dorchester.
• Mr. Burrell also felt it his duty to further remind us of the mutual suffering endured by Charles and Diana during their royal partnership. So a crown and castles don’t help much either. Meanwhile Camilla doddered middle-agedly around Oxford, doing charitable deeds, trying to convince us that she was not an old slapper: and Charles did his solitary monarchy bit up North, failing yet again in his attempts to be at one with his people. Seems like love and marriage do not necessarily go together like a horse and carriage.

It’s sad, sad, sad.

• We also discovered that the US blueprint for the invasion and occupation of Iraq that had anticipated a virtual circle whereby billions of dollars from oil exports would pay to rebuild the country had also gone sadly awry.  Unfortunately they had not foreseen the retaliatory attacks on Iraq’s oil export pipelines by the Iraqi resistance. The oil has now been reduced to a trickle. America and the UK have to ask the rest of the world to help fund the clear up of the terrible mess they made in Iraq. To pay for our contribution in the UK, £100m has been taken from the International Development fund, reducing programmes in countries such as Peru, the Philippines, Bolivia and South Africa.  It’s one thing to illegally make war against another country but to get your sums wrong too…..
• Everything seems to be about exposure – from racist British police to drug enhanced athletic prowess among Olympic contenders. Is this kind of behavior news? Has this always been going on? Or is technology being applied to confirm our paranoia and doubts about the human condition?

It’s bad, bad, bad.

• Then I see an article with pictures of wealthy UK celebrities, like Jamie Theakstone and Harry “Loadsamoney!” Enfield, people with more than a few bob to rub together, imploring the general public who are just getting by on their moderate salaries, to give their money to Britain’s poor. I know its always done – pay a huge PR firm to get high profile celebrities to promote your good cause but.. For the first time this struck me as seriously weird.
• Elton John appears to be being more straightforward about his money earning capacities. Positively flaunting it. It was announced that he is to earn $50m for 75 shows in Las Vegas. Even taking into account the dollar’s recent poor currency performance, it’s still a lot of dosh. Just imagine how much good you could do with it - and still have enough change left over for a mansion and chateau or two. I expect he’ll spend it on sequined jockstraps.

It’s all mad, mad, mad.

·          In the States, cult singer Elliot Smith commits suicide by stabbing himself in the heart.

·        In Cambodia, beautiful pop star, Touch Sunich is shot twice in the face and her mother killed.

It’s dangerous. 

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